


i still like you the most, you'll always be my favourite ghost

by SleepyBanshee



Category: Sanditon (TV 2019)
Genre: F/M, Future Fic, Lady susan meddles, Like Susan I am a member of the charlotte heywood protection squad, Set 3 weeks after the regatta, Susan and Charlotte the ultimate brotp, and her younger self, and reflects on the similarities between Charlotte
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-08
Updated: 2019-10-08
Packaged: 2020-11-27 10:24:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,363
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20946803
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SleepyBanshee/pseuds/SleepyBanshee
Summary: Lady Susan has a frank conversation with one Mr. Sidney Parker and hopes to persuade him to act on his feelings sooner rather than later.Set 3 weeks after the regatta. Lady Susan POV.





	i still like you the most, you'll always be my favourite ghost

Susan looked down at her empty glass and wished she had a refill. However, she knew better than to walk to the quaint tent and grab a second glass; she would be herded into another boring conversation that she wanted no part in. No, she was content by herself watching Charlotte and the Parker children running carefree on the beach. It filled her with a longing she thought had long passed, but at this moment, she desperately wished she could shed her bonnet and run after them. Instead, she debated how unladylike and how much gossip would be generated if she sat directly on the sand. 

She knew she couldn’t, but she wished to desperately. She smiled as she watched Charlotte pick up one of the children and twirl him in the air, her feet muddy from wet sand. As Susan followed the fun with her eyes, she noticed a shadow near her and tilted her head ever so slightly to see who had decided to ruin her time alone. 

“Ah, Mr. Parker,” She greeted, refusing to take her eyes off of the scene at the beach. 

“My Lady. I hope I am not interrupting,” Sidney said stiffly, and she had rather hoped to forget formalities, to speak with Sidney as a person, as someone who both cared a great deal for Charlotte Heywood. 

“Indeed you are,” she told him. “But, I’m sure we can both enjoy the merriment on the beach.” At this, she looked up at Sidney and saw that his gaze was also on Charlotte and the children. It had been three weeks since the regatta and Susan was hard-pressed to get more information about Charlotte and Sidney’s relationship. Charlotte, she understood, her lack of discussion was an act of self-preservation. But Mr. Parker? Well, she did not understand the delay in officially courting the lovely Charlotte. 

“Tell me, Mr. Parker. At what point will you propose marriage?” Susan said abruptly, feeling even more fed up with such passive-aggressive comments and high society protocols. Her entire life had been dictated by them, and she refused to allow Charlotte’s to suffer similarly. 

“My Lady?” Sidney inquired, startled. He looked rather pale, and Susan felt a twinge of satisfaction at catching him so unguarded. 

“I think, Mr. Parker, during this conversation, you may call me Susan.” She replied coolly. 

“Ah, well, Sidney, then.” Susan nodded at him. 

“Sidney. Wonderful. I am tired of these careful societal rules that harm young girls and bolster young men. So tell me, how does courting Charlotte fair?” Susan heard him clear his throat, and she tucked away a small smile at how uncomfortable he was. 

“My Lady. Susan, I’m not entirely sure what you are referring to.” He said coyly, and Susan all but rolled her eyes. 

“Do you not?” Susan asked, taking a step towards him. “That is very disappointing to hear, Sidney. I had been told by a common confidant that you are an outlier in society. Surely that should mean you would able to follow your heart.” After all, Susan knew exactly what it was to be a social outlier, but she also knew that following one’s heart was not always the best or possible choice. 

“Lady Susan--” Sidney began hoping to head her off, and Susan could see it coming a mile away. 

“Actually, Sidney, perhaps I should talk.” She interrupted and turned back towards the beach, watching Charlotte direct the kids in making a sandcastle. “We both know that that particular young Lady is perhaps one of the brightest creatures we have ever had the pleasure of knowing. She is earnest in everything she does, and she always admits mistakes. In a society where you must be best, rather than change or grow, it makes Charlotte, a particularly strong person. One, who without any prompting, immediately does what is hard and right, rather than easy.” Susan paused, trying to think of her next words and pushing down the tidal wave of heartache that she felt. Describing Charlotte was much like describing her past self, and it hurt to see how much she has changed from the very girl she is now complimenting. She wants better for Charlotte, for her younger self. 

“But she is bound by social expectations, class, and gender, where you are not.” Susan continued. Her throat was forming a lump. How painful it is to watch a young girl so much like herself fall into the failings of society. To relive her heartbreaking past. “She, unlike you, cannot be free with her emotions. They will ruin her.” She glanced over at Sidney and found him staring at her intently. Susan gave him a small, rueful smile that hoped to hide the actual agony of this conversation for her. 

“You, however, have money, a respectable social standing, and the means to propose an offer of marriage. And I wonder why you haven’t yet?” Susan finally said. She released a breath and looked at Sidney Parker, refusing to turn her gaze. Her face looked composed and serene, but her emotions were anything but. 

“I find that I worry about my capabilities at providing her the unwavering support a husband should provide.” He said softly, and Susan continued to maintain eye contact. 

“Interesting,” Susan replied to acknowledge his admittedly vulnerable statement. “And you find that you shall grow to be that man away from her?” 

Sidney Parker stood in silence, his brows bunched together deep in thought. “I’m not sure,” he began before pausing. Susan waited him out quietly, still looking at his face to glean any information she might find in his expression. “I just know that I do not want to start anything until I am the best man I can be for her and myself.” Susan nodded at this and gave him a piercing gaze before turning back to the beach. 

“It has been my experience, Sidney, that we become our best selves near the people who bring it out in us, not away from them.” 

“I would agree with that,” Sidney confirmed gruffly. 

“Is Charlotte not capable of determining if your worth has value in her life? Is she not earnest and intelligent enough to acknowledge that people continually change?” Susan questioned kindly. It was just like a man to assume he knew and acted on what was best for women rather than asking the very women they made decisions for what they wanted. 

Susan noticed that Charlotte was coming closer, and Mrs. Parker had corralled her kids towards the path back to the town. Charlotte waved over at them, and Susan gave her a fond and sincere smile. 

“Please forgive my directness, Mr. Parker. But I would hate to see her heart destroyed before it has fully bloomed,” she whispered before taking a step away from Sidney towards Charlotte. 

“Charlotte!” Susan greeted, taking Charlotte’s arm and walking towards the tent in search of food and drinks. Susan noticed Charlotte looking back quizzically at Sidney. Charlotte raised her hand to him in greeting. Sidney, for his part, nodded his head in reply but did not budge from his spot on the beach. 

“Forgive him,” Susan replied. “He is in a deep ponder over a question I posed.” Charlotte looked over at Susan curiously. 

“And what could’ve possibly stumped the all-knowing Mr. Parker, I wonder?” Charlotte teased good-naturedly. 

“You’ll have to ask him, my dear Charlotte. I believe he will be able to explain his clouded thoughts far better than I could.” Susan laughed out, squeezing Charlotte’s arm in comfort. Charlotte motioned to the drinks, and Susan nodded in reply. 

“Thank you, dear,” she said as Charlotte handed her a fresh drink. 

“So, tell me Charlotte,” Lady Susan began as she led them off towards the waterline of the beach and away from the crowded tents, all trying to grab the Lady’s attention. “What would your family think of Sanditon and its inhabitants?” 

Charlotte smiled before beginning to imagine and detail what each of her family would think of such a place, and Susan was happy to listen intently to all of her conjectures and to see Sanditon through the very lovely eyes of one Miss Charlotte Heywood.

**Author's Note:**

> Susan and Charlotte together are my favorite and I have a LOT of feelings about past Susan. Where is the prequel we all deserve of Susan? 
> 
> Lyrics from Florence + The Machine's Big God
> 
> Thanks to the ever lovely @/nnegan13 for letting me annoy her with character questions. You the best! 
> 
> find me on tumblr: https://air-bison-yip-yip.tumblr.com/
> 
> I hope you enjoy!
> 
> xoxo,  
SleepyBanshee


End file.
